Ladies and Gentlemen, for this, my 29th blogged burger, I am proud to present 69 Burgers’ first ever
EPIC CROSSOVER EVENT!
As I believe I’ve mentioned in one of my previous posts, my friend and current housemate Sam Greszes runs a blog of his own, one of comparable manliness to my extremely manly BurgerQuest. So of course Sam and I made the logical choice in such a situation – the decision to make like Spider-Man and Wolverine and do a Team-Up (I would Spider-Man, he would be Wolverine, obviously). It was time for Sam of www.beersandbmovies.tumblr.com and Ned of www.69burgers.wordpress.com to join forces and try, possibly for the first time in history, to combine burgers with beer and b-movies. Could it be done? Read on and find out.
Marvel Team-Ups #15. Ned and Sam vs. Delicious Things and maybe a Steven Seagal movie.
First thing I’m gonna mention is I took awesome notes on this whole experience to allow me to recall it in detail when writing it up a week later, and I collected all my notes and all relevant documents very nicely in the take-out bag we got at the restaurant, and the take-out bag is a brown paper bag with no writing on it, which I cleverly left sitting in my living room for a week. So one of my housemates has since recycled the whole thing, and I’m gonna try to do this from memory. So bear with me.
Sam told me about DMK Burger Bar when we first had this idea, which, consistent with us, was forever ago. He proposed that our blogs do a crossover event, with him choosing a burger and me choosing beer and a b-movie. Many months later we finally got out shit together enough to hit this place up, so we piled in the car with burger regulars Sam and Rehberg, and special guests Zach Spound and his brother Jonah. We cruised down Clark until we hit DMK and we parked in a hospital parking lot after some arguing about whether or not that would legal. I asked Sam how he first heard of the “Chicago Grass Fed Beef Burger Bar,” expecting it to have come off of some top ten list or savvy adviser – in fact he saw it on Craig’s List when he was looking for a job. Still, the buzz was good, and we were hungry.
Andersonville. It’s so hip.
We got seated in the warm, stylish interior early, and the first great sign, besides that our waitress was hot, was that they were playing the most excellent Dazed and Confused on the TVs above the bar. Shortly thereafter, it switched to Back to the Future, which is a fucking great movie and if you disagree, shut up.
The way I see it, if you’re gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?
Let me interrupt myself to say that I just went on DMK’s website to look up what was in my burger, and their website is super hip. You can check it out here and get a feel for the personality of the joint. You know where I stand on things that are hip – I am pissed off if a restaurant is all flash and no substance, but I overlook it entirely if the goods are quality. The first goods we inspected were the fries. We got two orders for the table, a plate of Wisconsin Cheddar & Scallion, and a plate of Parmesan with Truffle Cream. The Cheddar fries were good. Very sharp, very cheesy. The Parmesan fries were AMAZING. The cheese and seasoning were excellent and the Truffle Cream was just… I just… it was so light and gentle and delicious that when I first tasted it, it reminded me very clearly of something I couldn’t put my finger on, and then I was like, “Oh yeah! This is reminding me of kissing a girl for the first time! I don’t know why. But it is.” I dunno if that seems weird to you, but… great fuckin’ fries.
Ooh, look at the fries! Ok, so it was low lighting. What do you want.
For my main course I scanned the burger list, and they had some truly scintillating options. A Patty Melt with smoked Swiss and remoulade, a lamb burger with feta and tzatziki, and a special only on Cubs game days called “The Santo.” But when I see the words “Bison Burger” I have a real hard time ordering a not-Bison Burger. So order I did, specifically a Bison Burger with Fresh Goat Cheese, Pickled Red Onions, and Blueberry BBQ Sauce. What the fuck is Blueberry BBQ Sauce, you ask? That’s what I was thinking. I had to know! So I got it. So did Rehberg. Sam got the Santo. Spound and Spound got some burgers that I wrote down on the notes that I lost.
My burger was te-fuckin-riffic! I know it’s getting sorta vague 30 burgers in, but I can be specific and say that it’s one of the best burgers I’ve had in Chicago. Not quite to Best Burger in the BurgerQuest, but a really, really tasty competitor. Certainly more well-proportioned than Kuma’s, and more artfully-assembled than the Counter. The burger was great, the Blueberry BBQ sauce was tangy and out-there, while the red onions brought it home in a reliable way and the goat cheese was just GREAT! I love goat cheese. It is terrific. And you know what was really cool about this burger, which Spound pointed out to me, is that your first bite is just burger, and then you get burger and bun, and then the sauce, and then the cheese. As you go through the burger, every bite has a different distribution of ingredients, so every bite is different. BUT EVERY BITE IS GOOD. Man it was so tasty.
I love a good burger. This is one I’m definitely going back for.
In other news, Sam’s Santo was great. The Santo is meant to honor the late Ron Santo, who I won’t pretend to have known previously was a third-baseman on the Cubs. The Santo is one of their grass-fed beef patties topped with Italian beef, fontina cheese, au jus, and giardiniera. Rehberg made the apt comment that “it tastes like Chicago,” which, if you eat it, you’ll be like, “Oh yeah.”
Man. I keep forgetting how much we have to talk about here. Cause the beer! That was part of the point, right? Sam picked the burger so I picked the beer. And I knew I was gonna pick a beer from Michigan cause it’s the proudest of these 50 states. I settled on something called “The Poet” from Holland, MI, and it was tasty. Fuck, this is one of those parts where I can’t write as clearly as I want to because I took notes on the beer and they are gone. I’m not as experienced at keeping track of my thoughts on beer. I never know how to describe alcohol, except sometimes I use the term “hoppy.” But I remember enjoying the beer and thinking that it went well with beef. I’m sure that when Sam publishes his crossover review on www.beersandbmovies.tumblr.com he will do a great job of remembering what he thought about the beer. So look for it there.
There’s like twenty components to this whole story. Did I mention that our waitress, Carly, was really nice as well as hot? Sometime after we’d eaten our burgers, she brought us an ice cream cookie sandwich. FO FREE. WHY? I DON’T KNOW. CAUSE SHE WAS AWESOME. It was seriously like two delicious home-made chocolate-chip cookies with a huge dollop of delicious vanilla ice cream in the middle. We were just… truly staggered by how great and inexplicable our situation was. And, look, formal documentation of free-ness.
I love this woman.
Did you think this blog is over? It’s seriously like only half-way done. I’m not kidding. Because Rehberg and I, two men of the same mind, finished our share of the ice cream sandwich, looked at each other, and said, “Another burger? Yeah, definitely. Let’s get that tzatziki one.” So we did! It was a lamb patty with sheep’s milk feta, olive tapenade, Greek salad and tzatziki. Greek burger! I mean of course it was great, no surprises. We got it to go and ate it on the way to the car.
LOOK AT IT.
I feel like I want to take a break in the middle of this post and you probably do too. Kudos if you’re still going. It was an amazing series of things to take in, the burger and the beer and the b-movie, but clearly it’s exhausting to document in detail. But the b-movie is a-comin! We considered a few options, narrowing it down to Surf Nazis Must Die, Zardoz, and Steven Seagal’s Above the Law. This last option was most exciting because we had come to understand that it featured an appearance by Henry Godinez, Northwestern Professor and mysterious badass.
Viva la Godinez!
Finally my curiosity won out and I chose Above the Law, and we watched it. You want to know what I thought of it? Well clearly epic crossover events are not super-easy cause, like the beer, I can’t really remember the movie. Although in this case, it’s not a case of forgetting my thoughts, it’s really like the credits started to roll and I was like, “What did I just watch?” I know Steven Seagal shot a lot of guys and argued about morals and stuff, and there was a lot of late 80s smooth jazz, but I couldn’t really tell you what the plot was about. There were some evil guys who went around being evil all over the place and at one point they tortured a handsome young priest named Father Tomasino. That was my favorite scene. Henry did some serious acting in that one.
I tell them... nothing!
Closing thoughts: I may even have rushed into these closing thoughts, just trying to close this blog post before it hits critical mass and overloads the interwebs. Where do I start? So I’m glad we did an EPIC CROSSOVER EVENT, but I don’t feel like I totally lived up to it, because I was so bloody inarticulate about the beer and the b-movie. Like Sam and I agreed to enter each other’s arenas, except I totally performed poorly in his. But whatever. I had a good time. Obviously. Cause I write on the internet about eating burgers. How could that not be a good time?